Less Teeth. More Stress

Good Morning!

So the tooth is gone and has only left a mild ache after the fog from all those lovely tylenol 3s dissipated. The time drugged up and beading was like a little slice of heaven and I feel as though I was decently productive. In the vein of that persephone necklace I made this fun piece with sparrows flying down three strands of brass and garnet. I really did almost keep that one, but I was too proud of it to keep it to myself. So, beading is going well and selling is not bad at the moment after a little 8 sale rush.

But even though the hobby  is going well, I should probably follow that old adage of "Don't quit your day job"

Oh... wait... that's EXACTLY what I am about to do.

You see, I had an epiphany. Like, a real, honest to God epiphany. It was a thunderous moment of realization that parted the clouds of confusion and let the sunshine of truth and realization into my soul. It went a little something like this:

So the boyfriend and I are sitting at home and I've just returned from a perfectly horrific day at the office. One of those days where you just feel souless and crushed by everyone around you because you just DON'T want to be where you are. I'm crying just a little on the couch, explaining the horrors of inter office politics and passive aggressive jabs from ego maniacal coworkers as well as expounding on how I really hate that button up dress shirts completely restrict your shoulders. Seriously! Try to lay down in one!

He's tilting his head sympathetically and I'm full on ranting: I'm lost! What do I do? Leave this office job and go to another? I don't love it! Why am I doing it? Do I just hope that if I go somewhere with more potential for earning I can deal better because I will just think of that paycheck? Will I ever get anywhere? Does anyone make a truly comfortable button up shirt???

My boyfriend at this very moment sits up almost angrily and shakes his head, looking over at me with his eyes flashing (most likely in indignant defense of my plight) and says the phrase that is about to change my world forever.

"How about you JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING??"

I am stunned. The silence is deafening. The world stops spinning. The cliches are boundless.

Just. Don't. Do. Anything.

Really?

I could do that. (Or I could not do that? Not sure on the grammar on that one kiddos!) I could leave the pressure of my day job. I could go back to waitressing and go to grad school. I could stop trying to fit into those shirts, I could sling drinks and bury myself in school books. I happen to love school, I would be truly free. There would be no more pointless pressure about stacks of paperwork and being nice wouldn't make me such a good target for people to take advantage of.

Just don't do anything? I could bead ALL DAY! I could waitress at night and BEAD ALL DAY!! It would be like Heaven- but with beads! It would be like summer camp! I could create during the day, then go to class for a few hours and do homework and then go make a little cash... I could just let life take me by following the things that actually make me happy. It's like every poster from middle school- it's FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS!

Holy Crap! JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!

All of this is bursting out of my mouth like dawn breaking over the darkest part of the night and I am so swept up in feeling an incredibly calling to "just don't do anything" that I almost miss my boyfriend shaking his head slowly.

I look to him, my soft supportive, sensitive listener. His real concern for me and my plight has brought him to give me the answer I needed. I gaze lovingly at my prophet and ask why he's shaking his head. He answers:

"Baby, I was talking about the commercial. The Neosporin one. It's just an ad meant to terrify parents into thinking that they need a product when the human body will really just take care of itself. People don't need to use Neosporin, they can just as easily not do anything and end up with the same result."

Aaaah. Neosporin. My epiphany is the aftermath of my boyfriend's indignity at consumerism. And hey, wait,  I LIKE Neosporin.

The deflating setback was temporary, I'm a ridiculous sort of optimist and quickly decided that it was some sort of higher power that caused that commercial to inspire that world changing idea and save me from my life of drudgery.

So I've written up my two weeks notice and it's sitting in the corner of my desk. It's waiting for tuesday when the manager will be back from leave and I can make this whole dream chasing nonsense an impractical and wonderful reality. It's terrifying. I hate having people mad at me, and though I know the office will continue swimmingly without me, I am afraid of not only the moment when that letter transitions from my desk to the manager's desk but also the two weeks that I will have to sit and absorb the reactions and wrath.

Needless to say, I'm a giant ball of twitching tweakiness, but I'm trying to convince myself that it is like a giant adventure. I am just keeping my eyes on the prize and the glorious idea of returning all my damn button up shirts.

So, in the absense of my troublesome tooth, a new evil fear has risen and I must face it. I can only focus on the end result though, I can only focus on all those beads, just waiting to be arranged and strung. I can't wait to post the more recent ones, I've started playing with shapes and adding weird dangly parts. It's way more appealing than I just made it sound. So here's to major changes and hopefully so much good to come.

Wish me luck and then wish that I won't need it!!!

Yours-

the little miss milyssabeth